Push for the Face-to-face Interview

I have this guy friend, whom I love (of course just as a friend). We'll call him James. He is kind, smart, multicultural and something of a jack of all trades. About a year ago I was hosting an event at which I connected him with another friend of mine (who we'll call Mike) who was looking to hire someone in his department. Mike encouraged James to apply for the position and interviewed him about a week later and voilla! He had the job. Mike later told me how happy he was to give James the job but that he probably would have never hired him if it werent for two things: First, the fact that he got to see a little bit of who he was in a different setting (ie the event I hosted) and second, he had a great face-to-face interview. In fact, Mike went on to say that for all future jobs, James should push to have face-to-face interviews right away as opposed to phone interviews because he's much better in person than he is on the phone or even on paper.

This principal is true even in online dating. You have to know your strengths. Some people are great on the phone. They are able to communicate a lot about themselves naturally without dominating the conversation or coming off as arrogant. Other people are much better in person than they are on the phone. When they are talking on the phone they may come off a little stiff and uninteresting. And I say, if you're not sure which you are push for the face-to-face right away. I don't mean set up an elaborate, romantic date. But going out for coffee a couple times a week for a first time meet up will not break the bank. That way you get to express all of who you are and you won't run the risk of someone cutting off communication before they really get to know who you are.

There have been several times that a guy has expressed interest online and I have given my number pretty early on not because I was 100% sold by their profile or even their pictures, but because my curiousity was piqued. But after one phone conversation I was either turned off by something they said or bored. And it was so unfair to them, because they couldn't see the reaction on my face they weren't able to interpret themselves or see that the line of conversation was not something that interested me. Unfortunately, these guys continued to call and text, believing that I was just as interested as they were simply because I had given my number. What I (and/or they) should have done was push for the face-to-face right away. That's the only way to give a potential interest a fair chance. Besides coffee can always turn into something else :)

Love,
ODQ