Riding in Cars with Boys

I spent some time thinking about one of the more annoying occurances in the online dating world the other day: Men who post photos of themselves posing in front of their cars. This is a MEGA turnoff! On the one hand, I understand the desire to really prove to your future mate that you are capable of handling your finances and that you can be a good provider. But who is to say that the Escalade that's propping up your left elbow doesn't belong to your friend Ray Ray? Not to mention the fact that these pictures are like a honing beacon for GOLD DIGGERS! What happened to "we want Pre-Nup, we want Pre-nup!"? Wasn't this the male anthem of 2006? Let's go back to pictures with normal things like stuffed animals and puppies.

Wondering if it's just me,
ODQ

Dear Incomplete/Blank Profile Guy,

Thank you for wasting my time.

ODQ

Just Because You Delete Someone From Your Phone....

Doesn't mean they delete you from theirs!

I know it's silly but I actually thought I was done with crazy texter guy. You know, the one that would text me once every week or couple of weeks and ask how I was doing even though I NEVER texted back. There is a thin line between persisting and pestering and this guy is so far from the line he can't even see it. So after I hadn't heard from him in what seemed like a month I thought it was safe to just delete him from my phone. BIG MISTAKE! I ended up getting a random text the other day asking me how I was doing and silly me-I actually texted back asking, "who is this?!" And just like that I was sucked back into the orbit of whatever planet this guy is on.

Learning,
ODQ

I AM NOT A STATISTIC!!!.....or am i?

Recently Time Magazine published a statistic from OkCupid (one of the sites I have frequented)that Black women garner the lowest response rate of all women's groups from online daters. Ring, ring! "Hello?" "Hi, this is Depression, and Discouragement! We're coming over for a visit!" I mean seriously! So there I was, actually becoming more satisfied with waiting and trusting in God when this article slaps me over the head with a reality check. Right now I'm wondering mostly how can both these realities be true? How is it possible that God holds my future and my destiny in his hands while at the same time this ever flowing current of latent racism (Yes I said it) prevents me from reaching the top of the dating chain?

I'm sure that both my male and female friends have a hard time understanding this. "But black women are so beautifl! I just don't understand." Nine times out of ten these people are not currently dating a black woman. All of a sudden I felt justified in my choice to spend time on an interracial dating site in which racial preferences were clearly stated up front on everyone's profile. A black woman who was interviewed for the article articulated the strategy best: "Now I look at that section first so as not to get my hopes up." HOW SAD! We're scared to even hope!!! Scared to put ourselves out there time and time again only to get limited to no response at all!

Let me stop here by saying, I hate the victim mentality. I have always been hard on myself to figure out where can I improve and where do I need to shift. But this time its not just me. And I have the facts to prove it. I thought it was all in my head. I still trust God to work it out. But now the things I am praying for seem even bigger than me--try praying for the racism of a generation!

ODQ