If I'm Truly Honest with Myself

This week has been about being SUPER honest with myself. God has been reminding me of somethings that I have wanted out of a relationship that I thought I was willing to compromise on. Don't get it twisted! I'm not talking about compromising on spirtuatl and moral compatibility here. The things I felt open to compromising on were the "extras" that I hoped to find in someone.

One of those things was sense of humor. I really thought that I could compromise on this one in particular with one of the guys I dated, wondering, "maybe I'll be okay if I'm the only funny one in the relationship." Not that I'm winning any awards for best stand up comic...but you know. In fact, it was in a conversation I had with one of my guy friends recently that reminded me how much I HAVE to have this in a relationship. It even increases my respect for a person when they can match or exceed my wit and can decrease my respect when its not there. I tried hard not to let it matter so much but I can't help it!

The other thing which I can't compromise on is in planning ahead of time. Now, this was the biggest shocker because I thought that I was really high "P" on the Myers Briggs. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Myers Briggs, that basically means I like things open ended, may tend to procrastinate a lot. But I have recently become very strict about my schedule. In fact, the only time I may put off scheduling something is if it is going to cost money and I'm concerned about how I am spending my finances. But in general, I do much better after something scheduled than I do when it's open ended. And when someone says to me something like, "Oh yeah, we'll definitely hang out sometime," or "we'll definitely do something this week," I breaks trust with me. I feel this way partially because quality time is my primary love language. But I also feel this way because I am a busy person, so if I communicate that I'm interested in opening up my schedule it doesn't mean I won't take any other appointments or meetings etc until you're ready to schedule something. It means, let's put something in the books now before you get completely edged out of my life.

So there you go. I guess I'm looking for a hilarious planner. Know any? :)

Best,
ODQ

Waiting on God

Last week was a torrential storm of emotions and excitement only to be extinguished in one night. I began texting back and forth and talking on the phone with a guy who seemed perfect. In fact, one of my friends began referring to him as "Mr. Amazing." Well, there were pieces of his life that he was not upfront about until we met up in person. First being the fact that his pictures on the internet we not up to date. He had had a pretty bad motorcycle accident that had left him in pretty bad shape. The second and most important piece he left out of his history was the fact that he had spent time in prison for embezzlment. Needless to say, I have been pretty disillusioned and renewed a committment in my heart to wait on God and really be patient about any opportunity that comes by way. One of the primary ways that I am doing this is by only checking my internet dating accounts once a day (as opposed to 5 or 6) and only after praying to God and asking him to sift through my heart and fill my neediness. I have also cancelled a couple memberships I have to some dating sites that I was dissatisfied with and now I'm down to just two that I am invested in. I have a feeling that this MIGHT mean much fewer dates, but maybe the overall quality will pick up. :)

Cautious and Hopeful,
ODQ