The other day I was on my way to meet up with a date. This was going to be my second date with this particular guy. We were going to the beach but on the way there I decided to call my mom and vent to her about all the things that bothered me about him so far and and all the reasons why it wouldn't work out. "But he's not a planner," I told her, "and he seems like the kind of person who is afraid live in or visit urban areas." Although I was annoyed by it, my mom was somehow able to remind me that these aren't necessarily deal breakers and that I should still enjoy the date and give him some room to grow and be himself without having to fit into my checklist of criteria.
After thinking about that conversation I started to realized how motivated we are to see flaws in other people when we're afraid. And once I began to be honest with myself I realized that I am actually just scared. I have not yet quite learned how to protect my heart wisely until the appropriate time and so instead I chose to find reasons to sabotage the date before it even started by conjuring up all the things that annoyed me. So I decided to follow my mom's advice and just enjoy getting to know him and guess what! I had a great time!
Maybe one day I'll actually tell my mom she was right.
Best,
ODQ
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